to a lost love.. A month of insignificance..

Below is a blog I posted more than two years ago. Original Post can be read and found on my friendster.com account, just under the blog section.

This entry was written when I was so mad over something.... Just Reposting this..

If there is anything in this world that I am not good at- and will never be good at- is begging. We all have our own pinciple that we all live by, this is mine. If I can help it, I refuse to ask for any help form any body. Needless to say I did not want to be indebted to anyone under any circumstances. I may ask you once or twice, but hell, I am, not going to sink that low to asking you to do something I wanted done. If you do not want to do it, fine, but know that I will hold that on you.

I will let you have your way. It’s bad enough that I only come second in the list of your priorities, I will definitely not sell my dignity shorter than I can bargain for.

Countless times I have requested to have stuff stricken off the dossier. I am not sure I am even of any importance to you, or if what I say even matters to you at all. Apparently, you insist of keeping the things I wanted removed, despite my best effort of having you remove them in the least demanding manner.

An important day went on and passed, yet I have not heard anything from you. Not even a "hello". I am not even sure if you already did the thing that we verbally agreed on the last time we spoke.

I’m sorry but looking at them still being there, makes me feel so insignificant. Feel free to counter, however their continued existence there is not showing otherwise.

I did things you asked me to do because, thats how important your feelings and opinions are to me. I’d give you my life if you wanted me to.

Just because we do not agree on something, it does not mean I wanted you off. I simply wanted you to prove that I have a meaning, my opinion have a meaning to you. It’s just the damn pictures that I wanted stricken off. If you really take pride of those photos being inside his car, then perhaps I should just let you keep then on, and show myself out of this thing we got into. Because, you I can’t live with that.

You said I should not worry myself about how you are with this guy, but how can I do that when you yourself are giving me reason to the contrary. How many times have you been online since Wednesday evening? how many messages have I sent you? How many replies have received? None.

Now, tell me I should not worry..